My Aussie and I have been together for Five years now. So, ya, a long long time. And I love the Aussies, but let me tell you, there are some things about dating an Australian man that I found VERY different about dating an American man. Nothing bad, but just different. It may be a culture thing or the entire “you always want what you can’t have” thing, but I absolutely love dating an Aussie.
I always found the way American guys attempt to get damsels was a bit aggressive. The American boys love to play games with ladies, and the entire grinding thing? Yuck. The flirting/hooking up game was so different in Australia! And the drinking culture? Americans drink to get inebriated and go out, Aussies love a beer with almost anything and drink because they mostly love the taste (they just get hammered in process of liking all this grog!). Also, the entire “Live to work – Work to live” mentality is so noticeably different inbetween the two cultures.
Anyways, let’s be real, my man does go after the Aussie stereotypes — Blonde hair, surfer, beach bum, makes a mean BBQ, loves a good beer, and rails a kangaroo to work! Only kidding, he doesn’t like beer that much. But he’s undoubtedly a top bloke. (Affected with my use of Aussie slang? I bet you are!) Anyways, I love dating an Australian and here are the reasons why:
**This post is purely based on my practice dating a few American and Aussie guys, and in no way attempting to generalize the American and Australian population. Just individual preference. Soz.
1. I don’t actually know any of his friends real names
“Muzza”, “Jordo”, “Pinky”, “Lawz”, “Smithy”. What ever happened to names like “John”, “Tom” and “Mike”? But gravely? It’s weird.
Two. He is fearless to pathetic puny American standard insects
I see a spider, I scream. The Aussie comes in, sees the spider and says “that’s it?” Everyone knows that Australia has some wild and appalling creatures that are ultimately out to kill you, so the lil’ and unintimidating insects here are nothing to the Aussie kind. And hey, he can lightly play off as my hero when he catches a spider!
AKA: He’s a fearless badass hero who swoons me with his bravery.
Three. Not having meat in a meal is unacceptable
Yes, there are vegetarian Australians, but after dating my Aussie and meeting most of his friends, every meal required some sort of meat (mostly BBQ of sorts) otherwise it was considered as just an appetizer. I once thought I could surprise my man with a indeed delicious bean soup for dinner, only to hear “but where’s the chicken?” He actually left, bought roasted chicken, and had the nerve to put it in my soup and say, “There we go. Now that’s a meal!” Lesson learned.
AKA: He knows what he wants and he knows how to get it.
Four. Americans love his accent
I, being one of the Americans that fell in love with his accent, obviously, but the Aussie will go to the bar, smile at someone (being nice, not flirty) and they will nod and turn back to their friends. The minute he starts speaking, it’s as if someone just yelled “FREE NUTELLA. ” All eyes on him — “Is that an accent I hear? OMG, where are you from?” Excuse me, he’s mine. Turn around, please.
AKA: His accent is hot.
Five. Speaking of accents, anything he says always sounds better
To this day, I am pretty sure I haven’t indeed listened to what the Aussie has been telling. I just get too dispelled with that accent. He can say, “I just made a few cheese curds in my pants while smooching a whale” and I am here like **whine** That was hot, smooch me now! *reddening*
AKA: Again, his accent is hot!
6. If you don’t know footy well, just support the same team he does
Aussie boys are exceptionally loyal to their footy team. If your man goes for the Geelong Cats, so do you. I hear choosing footy teams can make or break a relationship. I’ve lost friends over this. Choose wisely.
AKA: I suppose he’s loyal?
7. No matter how much you fight it, they will always love their vegemite
I don’t get it nor will I ever understand it, but after moving to the States, the Aussie misses his Vegemite. It was his go-to toasted food. It’s basically solid left over salty beer mush. Smells horrible and tastes horrible. Am I missing something? Someone explain the appeal, please!
AKA: He always carries a chunk of home and has terrible taste in bread spreads.
8. As a Melbourne Boy, he is an entitled coffee snob
I’ll admit, Melbourne has an incredible coffee scene. If you look at any tour book for Melbourne, the very first thing mentioned to visit are the laneways and coffee shop. No joke! Melbournians have every right to be coffee snobs! So the very first time the Aussie was in LA, he could not find ANY coffee, but after a year or so, forcefully, we found coffee shops that sates his coffee snobery thirst. Imagine being in China where coffee doesn’t meet his standards? Two hours and an attempt to read Chinese mapquest later, no satisfaction.
AKA: He likes luxurious goods. A good vapid white is luxurious, right?
9. Evidently they don’t have time to speak in total worded sentences
“Meet me for a bevi this arvo?” For all the non Aussies reading this, did anyone understand that? That meant “let’s get a drink this afternoon.” It’s hilarious. It’s like they shorten all their words because they don’t have enough time to formulate utter sentences! It must be an significant meeting or something. I’ve learned to love it. It’s endearing. 🙂
AKA: He is efficient.
He wears g-strings confidently and doesn’t care who’s watching! He wore his knickers to climb to the Fine Wall of China, on the beaches of Indonesia, motorbiking and even to sporting matches. Oh, and we call g-strings, roll flops. But still spin flops to the Excellent Wall of China? Come on, mate.
AKA: He’s certain and doesn’t care about judgement.