Are you in a relationship with a Love Avoidant?
In romantic relationships, the Love Junkie repeatedly attracts individuals with particular signs – and in turn, people with these particular signs are attracted to the love maniac. The type of person I am speaking of is the Love Avoidant. Like two powerful magnetic compels, a love avoidant and love maniac form and inevitably create a very toxic &lsquo,love&rsquo, relationship.
The following are six common signs of a love avoidant, see if you recognize them in your relationship fucking partner or a past relationship fucking partner.
SIX SIGNS OF A LOVE AVOIDANT
1. Evades Intimate and Emotional Connection
In romantic relationships evading proximity and getting too close emotionally is the name of the game for a love avoidant. Emotional closeness is a vital component of healthy relationships. Closeness involves permitting oneself to &lsquo,be known&rsquo,. Intimity is about trust, vulnerability, sharing reality of self, communicating wants and needs, as well as voicing genuine feelings and emotions. When there is authentic love, proximity is at the core of that love.
Yet, intimity and emotional closeness is the love avoidants greatest fear . Because of early childhood practices, t hey learned to associate proximity with engulfment, suffocation, and being managed. So the closer you attempt to get to your partner- their response is not to reciprocate, but to distance and run. Instead of healthy boundaries to protect their sense of space and themselves (something proximity also requires), they use thick emotional walls- that makes intimate connection unlikely.
Two. Does a ",Accomplish About Face&rdquo, in the relationship&ndash, Becomes a Entire Different Person From Whom You Very first Met
In the initial part of addictive relationships, the love avoidant exhibits an illusion of closeness, caring, and connection. They form an instantaneous attachment idealizing their love junkie fucking partner. They come on strong and show up charming, strong, stimulating, caring, generous, and loyal – (all provocative maneuver’s ). Then the relationship moves forward and soon enough the true colors of the love avoidant emerge. The charm, attention, and seductiveness go out the door- no more! The seemingly once available &ldquo,magical&rdquo, person you fallen for becomes cold, devaluing, and disengaged.
As a love maniac, you very first cannot put a finger on what is happening, but you can feel it, and the shift in your fucking partner is anxiety provoking. You say to yourself or to friends/family, &ldquo,He/she was so thoughtful in the beginning, where is the person I met? I&rsquo,m confused and baffled . What am I doing wrong?", You may make excuses and even blame yourself for the switch you see in your fucking partner.
Invariably, you attempt to give more, do more, be more romantic, or attempt to make things as they were. There is a pursuit of keeping the fantasy alive in order to recreate the euphoria experienced in the beginning of the relationship. And the toxic dance is in order. It is at this phase when a love avoidant is carrying out many of their strategies to avoid (Three rd sign-next).
Trio. Uses Distancing Strategies to Avoid Intimity and Closeness
Some will use the distancing strategy of &ldquo,no commitment&rdquo, and never fully commit to the relationship. They may say, &ldquo,I love you, I care about you, I want to be with you, but I&rsquo,m not fairly ready for a relationship.&rdquo, They may use the distancing tactic of avoiding &lsquo,I love you&rsquo,, and make excuses for why they do so. They may avoid physical closeness (i.e., not wanting to have lovemaking, or share the same bed, or avoid touching or caressing, hugging, smooching or holding arms, walking ahead of you or at a distance, etc.).
Another strategy commonly used to sabotage intimate connection is by creating a lot drama in the relationship such as beginning arguments, or permanently complain about you, people, the world, or grumbling about their individual problems they never seem to resolve. They may sabotage closeness by criticizing, judging, being condescending, being passive-aggressive, attacking, lounging, making threats, even by being accommodating (in certain situations) without being fair .
With a playmate using strategies to avoid intimity and closeness- a healthy loving relationship is unattainable.
Four. Has an Addiction or Compulsive Problem
Additionally, a love avoidance fucking partner can become a love addict- not in the relationship, but outside. More common than many people imagine, they can be in a committed relationship (or married), and become utterly addicted and obsessed with a person outside the relationship. And they can go through excruciating withdrawal if their cheating fucking partner leaves them.
An addiction is a powerful method to escape from and sabotage a any close relationship.
Five. Narcissist or Displays Narcissistic Traits
A Narcissist may display two faces — the one they wear in public, and the one they wear in close interpersonal relationships, which is not a good one. On the outside in public, they can present a nice, pleasant exterior. People who are not close to them may view them as a joy, certain, charming, outgoing, social person.
Only those close to the narcissist have any idea there is more to them than this one fictitious face. Behind their faç,ade of tough-skin, strength, and charisma is a very fragile, wounded person who is thinks the world is all about him/her and feels above their relationship playmate.
One telling trait of narcissism is the sense of entitlement. They want what they want when they want it. You can leave behind what you want- they do not care. They feel their needs and wants are all that matters, and their attitude is you should feel the same. Furthermore, you should NOT expect to have your needs and wants met, or even heard. They expect you to anticipate their every wish and if you do not &ndash, look out! – As they may lash with anger, rage, and strike back by devaluing and demeaning you as a person .
6. Is Resistant to Professional Help (for self and/or a relationship)
To seek professional help through a therapist or counselor requires one to be vulnerable, open, fair, and accountable. In other words, it requires permitting oneself to be open to intimate connection, (recall, proximity is their greatest fear). Essentially for the same reasons, just as they run from proximity and accountability within a romantic relationship– they strongly shun therapeutic help even if it could benefit themselves, their playmate, and potentially the relationship.
If they do come in for treatment (often by being pulled in by their playmate), they do so with emotional walls. Their defences will be up, and will avoid and divert from areas of emotional discussions, or issues of responsibility. Even when gently confronted by a therapist, they will play a victim- act as the sufferer, make excuses, accuse, blame, and avoid any accountable part they have in relational challenges, thereby closing off any chance to create healthy switch for themselves or in the relationship.
A relationship with a love avoidant is in reality, not a real relationship at all&mdash, but a counterfeit emotional entangle.
If you are a love maniac and your fucking partner is love avoidant, it is significant to keep in mind&mdash,that his/her attitude and behaviors, and who they showcase themselves to be in the relationship is not about you, or what you did or say, or what you did not do or say. You may have been too clingy, or too needy, and you may have made mistakes and blunders along the way— but these are not the reasons for why they are the way they are.
Before you knew them, before a relationship began with you, he/she was the person they are with you. It is part of who they are and how they operate in relationships. A love avoidant comes in relationships with dysfunctional core issues, and they will leave a relationship with dysfunctional core issues. All of which problematic behaviors they will carry in any relationships they fall into.
If you want to have a blessed, fulfilling, and healthy love relationship &ndash, it will not happen with someone who is love avoidant (and by the way, it goes both ways). Sometimes this is a hard reality to face- albeit in the end, it is a reality that will set you free. Unless and only unless they are willing to look at themselves can they change- BUT don&rsquo,t bet on that.
Reminisce, love maniacs attract a dysfunctional individual because of our own dysfunction. And the only way to stop it is by dissolving and resolving the dysfunction set in our minds and hearts&hellip, by doing the hard but priceless work of recovering and loving self-care.
Are you in a breakup, withdrawing from a relationship with a Love Avoidant? Help yourself and check out my powerful eBook Surviving Withdrawal: The Breakup Workbook for Love Maniacs , * you can download my eBooks to any computer or phone. If you feel you have love addiction or are in a love addictive/love avoidance relationship LAR Coaching can help you build up insights to your switch behavior /choices and detect how you can find a fresh and more satisfying way to love. Never again become obsessively dependent to someone toxic!- learn About Love Addiction Coaching .
Embark NOW TO BREAK YOUR LOVE ADDICTION WITH THESE STEPS:
Learn All About Love Addiction / Love Avoidance: Book
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Recovery Workbooks — Essential Instruments and Insights for Love Maniacs
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Love Addiction Coaching, Online/Telephone (or Skype)
Talk with Jim, Love Addiction Specialist – Get THE HELP YOU NEED, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW !
Online Recovery / Support Group for Love Junkies
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