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Ever attempted online dating? Early research suggests that dudes present themselves as wealthier, taller, and with more hair. Women, on the other palm, are thought to present themselves as blonder, thinner, and bustier. In effect the early research suggests that dudes and women have beliefs about what prospective dates want and they present themselves in a way that matches. This is particularly an issue for heterosexual dudes as heterosexual women get approximately six times more contacts than do boys.
I conducted one of the very first managed studies to look at self-presentation (how people make a good impression) in online dating and my probe exposed different results than described above. To examine online dating in a managed probe, we very first had participants pack out a battery of questionnaires with no mention of online dating. Once participants had finished this, within a month after participating, single participants were invited to participate in a 2nd examine. Depending on condition, some participants thought this probe also pertained to personality (no online dating control condition), while others thought they were coming in to help the University pilot test its fresh online dating service. Within the group expecting to test the online dating service, participants were randomly assigned to one of three conditions: do not meet date, meet date online in one week, or meet date in person in one week.
Observe out ladies! Our results indicated that boys who expected to meet their date online said they were more agreeable, emotionally stable, and attractive (even when we managed for this with coders’ ratings of attraction based on photographs of the participants) than they were at time 1. Women did not demonstrate any differences in reported personality or appeal regardless of condition.
What’s the upshot here? Clearly studs know what women want and if they have a chance to meet their date online, at least those in our investigate were willing to deceive. So, what is an fair online dater to do? Take time to get to know a prospective romantic fucking partner over email. Look for inconsistencies in his or her communications. And, if attraction is significant to you, get a lot of photographs!
For more information see the original article:
Guadagno, R. E., Okdie, B. M., &, Kruse, S. (2012). Dating deception: Gender, online dating, and exaggerated self-presentation. Computers in Human Behavior, 28, 642-647. PDF
How I treatment online dating
I purposely downplay my looks and comes across very aggressively. I use my profiles to tell the masculine readers precisely what I expect and what I don’t want. I never give out photos. I am very successful, people who meet me generally like me.
Unluckily, I find that a lot of guys overrate their appeal and their wealth. It is lighter to weed out the ugly ones than those who are not wealthy / successful. That takes a little more time.
",You better impress me, you better not BS me!",
That was the way one woman put it, on yahoo dating, way back when it was a free service.
The systemic outcome is a predictable manifestation of women selecting for BSers they are incapable of detecting.
Successful deception carries an enormous advantage. Honesty does not. This is because women use honesty rigorously in their own self-interest, at the expense of the other person. This quickly weeds out any honesty.
An fair man gives up the info without any effort or skill on the woman’s part, and is thus kinda like a woman who is too “effortless” – it looks desperate.
Through numerous iterations of this process, human females have bred the best salesmen, politicians, hypesters, liars, etc. the planet has ever seen. Then, with their usual circular thinking, they blame and penalize dudes for their obedience. Online systems mirror the larger process and make it effortless to observe.